Jersey Duo giving Subway a “Footlong” in their Billfold

30 Jan

SubwayThe fast food chain Subway is cutting corners and selling subs that didn’t measure up to their footlong standards of advertising. In an attempt to cash in on this mistake, two ass-clowns from New Jersey are taking a shot at suing Subway for “compensatory damages. “ Clearly these inadequate sandwiches are ruining their livelihood.

I’m somewhat disappointed in myself for even caring about this ridiculous story, but the ‘get rich through suing’ social mentality has been bothering me for years, and this is no exception. These Jersey assholes are selfishly suing a corporation to get rich while everyone else in the world will have to pay higher prices from this point forward to assure NO SUB IS LEFT BEHIND! How do people sleep at night when trying to fuck over solid American corporations like Subway out of millions of dollars because they got stiffed 25 cents of olives and jalapeños. How long will it be until people are suing the church because God didn’t bless them with a footlong?

Subway already offers the cheapest sandwiches anywhere, so why are people busting their balls over an inch. Subway offers up opportunities to hard working Americans to build their own franchise and provide a good living for their family. Franchise owners have to make the call to save pennies where they can, which is where this issue sprouted from since $5 for a sandwich is absurdly cheap. Suing the corporation is going to make $5 “footlong” extinct as owners will have to raise their prices.

The old adage goes “there is no such thing as bad publicity’. Subway is laughing all the way to the bank on this story as sales skyrocket from yahoos going into their local Subway with tape measures, unsuccessfully trying to catch them in the act like Chris Hansen on Dateline. If we really want to punish Subway, JUST DON’T GO THERE! There are plenty of local sandwich shops that don’t put shitty processed meat in their sandwiches and it only costs you two more dollars.

25 thoughts on “Jersey Duo giving Subway a “Footlong” in their Billfold

  1. The even bigger asshat here is Stephen DeNitts, the lawyer representing the two New Jersey plaintiffs. These lawyers that make their living off of filing illegitimate class action lawsuits should be disbarred and sent to Zimbabwe to live out their lives. They are but one example of the joke that is our legal system.

    The only solace will be that as more and more people pile on to the lawsuit, and after the lawyers take their 50% of the settlement in legal fees, the dipshit guidos from New Jersey will each get a check for $1.35. Just enough for a new tube of Dippidy Doo hair gel.

    • BauDown, I think they do send lawyers to Zimbabwe, because I am always getting letters from there asking for money. When will these greedy asshats have enough?!

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